Emelye (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emelye_miller) wrote2013-09-17 11:13 am
emelye_miller) wrote2013-09-17 11:13 am
Entry tags:
Life Could Ever Grant Me 11/12
Title: Life Could Ever Grant Me
Author: Emelye
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Mature
Summary: Sequel to The Resolute Urgency Of Now, and Such A Part Of You.
Disclaimer: Not mine, all theirs.
Warnings: None.
A/N: Artwork by the lovelykatekat1010
Henri called for Manon and followed Spike, the vampire cradling AJ in his arms and following Jessica Harris into Xander’s old room where his mate was laid on the bed to heal. “See to your son, William,” directed Henri. “Manon will care for Xander.”
“Here,” offered Jessica, returning them back to the living room. On the faded plaid couch she lay an old Hudson Bay blanket. Gently as he was able, he lay AJ down, brushing the hair back from his face with a shaking hand. Willow, tears in her eyes, pushed Spike to one side and with determined focus began to chant over him.
Tara touched Spike’s arm tentatively. “He’ll be all right,” she assured him. More than any other proclamation, it was her quiet confidence that permitted him to finally release the tension in his frame and feel the tears coursing down his face. Shaking with fear and grief, he fled the room.
Hours later, Spike stood at the patio doors staring out into the dark and sheeting rain. It was worse, he thought, fighting the good fight. Caring always meant having more to lose. It was that way with Dru. It was much worse with Xander. But laying his unconscious son out on Tony Harris’s couch was another exquisite sort of hell altogether.
They’d rescued him. They’d rode in like heroes and come out fighting with their little boy while miles away the life they’d built was blown sky high and the goddamn hellmouth was opening under a biblical fucking deluge.
No, Spike thought, when you’re a hero, most of the victories don’t feel like victories at all. They just made you feel small, weak, helpless and scared, like nothing you did was ever enough. They made you feel human.
He pressed his forehead to the cool, glass door and took a breath of the hot and humid air. Too many bodies in too little space. Hardly room enough to stand for all that were tending to his mate and child in the other rooms.
Buffy’s hand on his shoulder nearly made him jump.
“Can vampires see in this?” She asked.
Spike wiped a hand across his eyes. “Not really. No. Just Thought it’d look better than crying on the stairs with my head in my arms. More manly. Brooding.”
Buffy’s arm came up around his shoulder, her head resting on his arm. “Giles said AJ’s gonna be fine.”
Spike nodded. “Xander nearly died tonight.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No.”
Buffy looked out into the rain beside him. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Being one of the good guys. The evil never stops coming. There’s always something trying to hurt the people you love and all it needs is one good day.”
Spike let out a bark of laughter between trembling lips. “I don’t think I can do it anymore, pet. Got too much at stake. What good is saving the world if it doesn’t have them in it?”
The small hand on his shoulder tightened and squeezed. “That’s your call. I can’t make it for you.”
“You’re still fighting the good fight.”
Buffy smiled sadly. “I’m the Slayer. It’s kind of my job to stick around and prevent the world from ending.”
Spike put his own arm around her waist and squeezed slightly. “I’ll just check on Xander.”
His face was pale beneath a layer of dark stubble. Manon left as he arrived, told him he’d be fine, just needed to rest while his body healed. Spike didn’t really take in anything she said, nodded anyway, and took a seat by the single bed.
“Been giving it some thought,” he began, “and I reckon the Netherlands wouldn’t be so bad. Never heard of a Hellmouth in Holland, and with all those canals can’t figure the flooding would be much of a problem. And you can’t beat the Dutch for health care. Socialized medicine at its finest.”
“Spike,” interrupted Xander.
“Language barrier might be a bit tricky but I managed German all right and AJ’s a smart boy, he’ll pick it right up.”
“We’re not leaving.”
“No, it’s settled. You were right. You always were and I was just too selfish to see it. Nothing is more important than the two of you. When I thought I’d lost you both--”
Xander reached for his hand. “I’m not going. And neither is AJ. And neither are you. The town needs you now as much as it’s ever needed Buffy.”
“You’n AJ need me.”
Xander smiled. “Yeah. We need you to be you. And you both need me to be me. I think this is my fault.”
“Your fault! Like hell--”
“It’s so weird, how you spend almost your whole life as a teenager and a young adult trying to figure out how you fit in the world, and then defending that place in the world, but the second you have a kid, you forget all that and decide it’s not enough for the kid to have you, he has to have some weird, idealized, Ozzy and Harriet version of you. But you can never be that person. That person isn’t you. And so you constantly hate yourself for failing at that, for failing to be what you think your kid deserves, and you resent the people that loved you before because it seems like they just don’t care about the kid at all if they don’t agree the person raising them should be absolutely perfect. Weird right?”
Spike blinked helplessly as Xander babbled his stream of consciousness.
“Anyway, at some point I stopped thinking about damage control and how AJ’s going to need therapy forever to deal with this and what we’re going to do to make him feel like a safe, normal kid in a safe, secure home when I realized, that’s the whole problem. If I’m trying to sell the kid on a lie, he’s never going to have security. We can keep him safe, most of the time, but our lives aren’t ever going to be free from danger. And maybe that’s okay, because we both chose this life for good reasons. And maybe it’s okay if he sees us make that choice. Maybe instead of trying to do the Sunnydale thing and keep him out of the loop, maybe he needs to see it. Maybe he needs to know how to take care of himself--how to care about other people and see us caring about something larger than ourselves. I mean, that’s what we do, or what we used to do, anyway, so maybe that isn’t such a bad thing, right?”
Spike looked away, voice hoarse with tears. “I never wanted to give him less than he deserved. He doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him. Or you.”
Xander pulled Spike into his arms and held tight. “You do, though. You do. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough. That we weren’t enough. We are. We are enough. It’s a good life and we make a difference which is more than most people can say. But we really won’t deserve that--that amazingly brave kid in there if we run now.”
Spike laughed, his throat feeling thick. “Unbelievable. I come in here ready to fold and you double down on the heroics. Unbelievable.”
Xander hummed in agreement. “We’ve got to take Stazzi down. Dad said he’s got guys on recon around town and figures there’s something like five thousand vamps and demons moving in now.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Yeah. How’s AJ?”
Spike looked over at the tchotchkes on Xander’s old dresser, contemplating the things left behind when he moved into the basement and on with his life. It was something to think about beside how quiet it was with AJ unconscious. “He’s still out. Everyone’s had a look over, though, and the popular opinion is he’s fine, just a little dirty and a little dry. Witches gave him a scrub down. They figure he’ll be waking up any time now.”
Xander took it in stoically. “Can’t believe the house is gone.”
Spike snorted. “Yeah.”
Xander took his hand. “Tara said she could probably save most of our stuff. And we needed a bigger basement anyway. Windows are probably a loss though. Are you married to the art deco craftsman look? I can draft something close but materials and labor are going to cost.”
“Love, build whatever you damn well please. My home is where you are.”
“And I’m a brilliant architect.”
“And you’re a brilliant architect. Prince of builders.”
“I can’t believe those fuckers destroyed my goddamn house!”
Spike frowned. Obviously Xander wasn’t quite as accepting of this turn of events as he’d initially seemed, but there would be time for that later. “C’mon,” said Spike, a hand behind Xander’s back drawing him up onto his feet. “Time to call the war council.”
Spike’s lieutenants remained seated at the table. Joyce put mugs of blood out for them as Spike and Xander entered the kitchen, offering one to Spike which he accepted with a kiss. From the others, he asked for their reports.
“Near as we could see, there are about two hundred vamps at the old school.”
“They’ve got hostages,” Bob added. “About twenty chartered demons they rounded up the other night.”
“That complicates things a bit,” Spike noted. “Tony, any of your guys have experience in search and rescue ops?”
Tony nodded. “Got a few former Seals who did extractions in the Gulf war.”
Xander looked over at Ethan and Willow. “They’re going to need some mojo. What do you got?”
Ethan and Willow conferred silently. “Shielding and cloaking spells. Anything bigger would go wonky so close to the Hellmouth. And we don’t know what they might be conjuring that could interfere.”
“Buffster?” Xander saw her twirling her stake thoughtfully.
“I’ll go in first. Is the roof an option?” she asked.
“Not right now. Whatever is causing the rain is shooting up in a giant column of energy. Unless you can stop that, you’re going to need to find an alternative,” said Angel.
Footsteps behind them announced the Watchers’ presence. “I think we might have a suggestion.”
“The ball of Moni Mekhala and the Thunder Axe are an ancient Cambodian legend, part of the universal flood mythos,” Wesley explained.
Spike looked out at the deluge through the patio doors. “And something tells me it’s slightly less mythological now.”
“Apparently,” said Giles. “It also rather explains what Stazzi was doing in Phnom Phen.”
“So what’s our move?” Buffy asked.
Tony Harris stepped up to the table. “Near as my men can tell, there’s an encampment of demons about two clicks northwest on the outskirts of Breakers Woods.”
“I imagine Stazzi intends to rout the city and open the Hellmouth,” summarized Wesley.
“And flood everything living off the planet,” Spike added.
“That too,” confirmed Giles.
Spike ran a hand over his face. “How many men’ve you got Tony?”
“One hundred and fifty-three combat ready, more if need be.”
“Anyone ever mobilized a VFW before?” Buffy asked.
“Well we used to have a base here but someone saw to that pretty thoroughly.”
“Touché.”
“The clans are just waiting for the order,” Bob volunteered. “Bill’s last count had the number of fighting men and women at eight thousand.”
Tony goggled. “That many?”
Bob shrugged. “Most of em couldn’t pass for human, but I reckon nobody’s going to be too bothered so long as we get this shut down.”
Tony shook his head. “Bob, don’t take this the wrong way, but why the hell are you still here if you’ve always known about Sunnydale?”
“The soil’s just acidic enough for my hydrangeas and roses. Anyway, Margie and I were born here, went to school here, raised our children here. And whether we die here because of some demon or old age, or I finally fall off my ladder like Margie’s been fretting over for the last twenty years, makes no difference to me. I’m not looking for trouble, but if it finds me, I reckon I’ve got no regrets.”
“Fair enough.”
Xander clapped Bob on the shoulder. “Right. Get word to the clans we’ll meet on the edge of the
woods near the clearing. Tell them to bring everything they got, weapons, magic, whatever and to expect a fight.”
“Mr. Harris, have your guys meet Angel, Ethan and me outside the school,” directed Buffy. “Can you get the axe and the ball thing?” she asked Spike.
Spike nodded. “Yeah, Watchers, lieutenants, with me. Slayer, you wait for my signal before going in.”
“Big light in the sky goes out?”
“That’d be it.”
The kitchen door slammed and Tara and Anne appeared. “It’s not much,” said Tara, holding out a suitcase, “But we got as much of AJ’s stuff as we could for now. We’ll get the rest when, well...His bear is in there. I cleaned it up.”
“He’ll want that,” said Anne, lip trembling.
Xander took her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You want to come see him?”
Anne nodded quickly. “Oh, yes, please.”
“Come on,” he said, guiding her into the hallway. “Dad, flack jackets, crossbows, as many as you can find,” he added as he passed Tony.
Tony smirked fondly. “Yes, sir.”
AJ was just beginning to stir. “Daddy?”
“Hey, buddy!” Xander sat down behind AJ and pulled him into his lap, burying his face in his hair, inhaling the warm scent of his son, and kissing his head. “How’s my big guy.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s my brave boy.” Willow brought over a glass of water for AJ who drank it in large gulps.
“Slow down there, kiddo. You don’t want to get sick.” When he’d finished Xander shifted him on his lap so he could see him face to face. “You remember what happened when the bad guys took you, baby?”
“Yeah.”
“You want to talk about it?”
AJ turned and tucked his head under Xander’s chin. “It was scary. They put a bag over my head and I couldn’t see and it smelled bad.”
“That sounds scary.”
“Yeah. They put me in the back of their car. it was hot and bumpy and they grabbed my arms really hard,” he said, gesturing to the finger shaped bruises.
Xander nodded and lifted each arm for kisses before asking, “Then what happened?”
AJ yawned. “I wet because I was in there for a long time and they didn’t let me go pee.”
“That’s okay sweetheart. When did they take the bag off your head?”
“In the cave. It was dark and there were a lot of demons there. They tied me to a rock.”
“I remember.”
“I was there a long time.”
“I know. And I’m sorry it took so long for us to find you. But we did find you. You’re safe now and those demons won’t try to hurt you again.”
“I’m hungry.”
“I’ll bet you are. What would you like?”
“Pancakes.”
“How about cereal.”
“Pancakes.”
“Broccoli.”
“Pancakes.”
Xander tickled AJ who squirmed and laughed. “Pancakes it is.”
Manon, who’d been quietly tending to AJ offered to get food, but Xander stopped her getting up. “I’ve got this. Anyway, I needed to ask, just so we’re clear, if anything happens to us--”
Manon stopped him. “You needn’t ask, cher.”
Xander let out a breath. “Good. Good, that’s good. Thank you. Will you stay with him tonight?”
“Of course. Henri as well. This is your battle to fight, but you need not worry for your family.”
“Our family,” Xander corrected, softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you both.”
Manon cupped his cheek. “Oh, Xander. Thank you. Please know we consider you family as well.”
Xander ran a hand through his hair and nodded. “Yeah. I think I do.”
As far as pre-apocalyptic meals went, they’d had worse. Xander and Tara took turns at the griddle but it wasn’t long before the pancakes were put away the dishes stacked in the sink and it was time to move out.
AJ was quiet and still tucked between his fathers, soaking up the contact. “Scared, pet?” asked Spike. AJ nodded. Spike tightened his arm around the boy’s shoulder and pressed a kiss into his hair. “S’good. Scared keeps us safe. I’m scared. Your da’s scared. But he’s brave and he’s good. And so we’re going to go out there, and we’re going to do our best to keep you and everyone else safe as houses. Whatever happens, you won’t be alone. Your Auntie Manon and Uncle Henri will be here.”
The sound of a clearing throat. Giles knelt down in front of AJ. “I was your age when my father gave me this.” From his pocket he withdrew a small book. “I know you can’t read just yet, but if it’s alright with them, you and I can begin this book together. It’s a demon primer for young Watchers. I vividly remember worrying after my father and my grandmother when I was your age. But the more I learned about what they fought, and how they fought it, the less frightening it became. Does that sound like something in which you might be interested?”
AJ nodded enthusiastically and Giles ruffled his hair. “Hold on to this for me. And when we all return, you and I shall start reading straight away.”
“Okay,” AJ eagerly replied.
“That’s my boy,” said Xander, taking another hug and kiss from him before handing him to his father for more of the same.
Spike held AJ tightly. “Be back before you miss us, lovey. Take care of Grandma Anne and Grandma Jess for me.”
AJ nodded into Spike’s neck and then it was time to go.
The diesel truck idling outside held a number of the clan heads, armored and blooded and waiting for orders beside a handful of veteran officers. Xander climbed aboard the truck and leaned over the gate, gathering up two handfuls of Spike’s coat and kissing him passionately. “I’ll see you later,” he said.
Spike nodded, swallowing thickly. “Count on it, love.”
Xander smiled and the truck pulled away, headed for the clearing at Breakers Woods.
A hand clamped down on his shoulder.
“He’ll be fine,” said Angel.
Spike snorted. “Course he will. It’s you I’m worried about.”
Angel cuffed him and Spike laughed as they took up the road to the Hellmouth.
“You know what I miss? When I got to stake the vamps and didn’t have to listen to them bicker like twelve year olds,” observed Buffy.
“Course, we were trying to kill you back then,” Spike pointed out.
“Yeah,” Buffy smiled. “Good times,” she said, her laughter raising their spirits and carrying them into battle. And though he no longer fought for it exclusively, Spike thought there were worse things than Buffy’s laughter to be fighting for.
“Yeah, love, they were at that.”
Author: Emelye
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Mature
Summary: Sequel to The Resolute Urgency Of Now, and Such A Part Of You.
Disclaimer: Not mine, all theirs.
Warnings: None.
A/N: Artwork by the lovely
katekat1010Henri called for Manon and followed Spike, the vampire cradling AJ in his arms and following Jessica Harris into Xander’s old room where his mate was laid on the bed to heal. “See to your son, William,” directed Henri. “Manon will care for Xander.”
“Here,” offered Jessica, returning them back to the living room. On the faded plaid couch she lay an old Hudson Bay blanket. Gently as he was able, he lay AJ down, brushing the hair back from his face with a shaking hand. Willow, tears in her eyes, pushed Spike to one side and with determined focus began to chant over him.
Tara touched Spike’s arm tentatively. “He’ll be all right,” she assured him. More than any other proclamation, it was her quiet confidence that permitted him to finally release the tension in his frame and feel the tears coursing down his face. Shaking with fear and grief, he fled the room.
Hours later, Spike stood at the patio doors staring out into the dark and sheeting rain. It was worse, he thought, fighting the good fight. Caring always meant having more to lose. It was that way with Dru. It was much worse with Xander. But laying his unconscious son out on Tony Harris’s couch was another exquisite sort of hell altogether.
They’d rescued him. They’d rode in like heroes and come out fighting with their little boy while miles away the life they’d built was blown sky high and the goddamn hellmouth was opening under a biblical fucking deluge.
No, Spike thought, when you’re a hero, most of the victories don’t feel like victories at all. They just made you feel small, weak, helpless and scared, like nothing you did was ever enough. They made you feel human.
He pressed his forehead to the cool, glass door and took a breath of the hot and humid air. Too many bodies in too little space. Hardly room enough to stand for all that were tending to his mate and child in the other rooms.
Buffy’s hand on his shoulder nearly made him jump.
“Can vampires see in this?” She asked.
Spike wiped a hand across his eyes. “Not really. No. Just Thought it’d look better than crying on the stairs with my head in my arms. More manly. Brooding.”
Buffy’s arm came up around his shoulder, her head resting on his arm. “Giles said AJ’s gonna be fine.”
Spike nodded. “Xander nearly died tonight.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No.”
Buffy looked out into the rain beside him. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Being one of the good guys. The evil never stops coming. There’s always something trying to hurt the people you love and all it needs is one good day.”
Spike let out a bark of laughter between trembling lips. “I don’t think I can do it anymore, pet. Got too much at stake. What good is saving the world if it doesn’t have them in it?”
The small hand on his shoulder tightened and squeezed. “That’s your call. I can’t make it for you.”
“You’re still fighting the good fight.”
Buffy smiled sadly. “I’m the Slayer. It’s kind of my job to stick around and prevent the world from ending.”
Spike put his own arm around her waist and squeezed slightly. “I’ll just check on Xander.”
His face was pale beneath a layer of dark stubble. Manon left as he arrived, told him he’d be fine, just needed to rest while his body healed. Spike didn’t really take in anything she said, nodded anyway, and took a seat by the single bed.
“Been giving it some thought,” he began, “and I reckon the Netherlands wouldn’t be so bad. Never heard of a Hellmouth in Holland, and with all those canals can’t figure the flooding would be much of a problem. And you can’t beat the Dutch for health care. Socialized medicine at its finest.”
“Spike,” interrupted Xander.
“Language barrier might be a bit tricky but I managed German all right and AJ’s a smart boy, he’ll pick it right up.”
“We’re not leaving.”
“No, it’s settled. You were right. You always were and I was just too selfish to see it. Nothing is more important than the two of you. When I thought I’d lost you both--”
Xander reached for his hand. “I’m not going. And neither is AJ. And neither are you. The town needs you now as much as it’s ever needed Buffy.”
“You’n AJ need me.”
Xander smiled. “Yeah. We need you to be you. And you both need me to be me. I think this is my fault.”
“Your fault! Like hell--”
“It’s so weird, how you spend almost your whole life as a teenager and a young adult trying to figure out how you fit in the world, and then defending that place in the world, but the second you have a kid, you forget all that and decide it’s not enough for the kid to have you, he has to have some weird, idealized, Ozzy and Harriet version of you. But you can never be that person. That person isn’t you. And so you constantly hate yourself for failing at that, for failing to be what you think your kid deserves, and you resent the people that loved you before because it seems like they just don’t care about the kid at all if they don’t agree the person raising them should be absolutely perfect. Weird right?”
Spike blinked helplessly as Xander babbled his stream of consciousness.
“Anyway, at some point I stopped thinking about damage control and how AJ’s going to need therapy forever to deal with this and what we’re going to do to make him feel like a safe, normal kid in a safe, secure home when I realized, that’s the whole problem. If I’m trying to sell the kid on a lie, he’s never going to have security. We can keep him safe, most of the time, but our lives aren’t ever going to be free from danger. And maybe that’s okay, because we both chose this life for good reasons. And maybe it’s okay if he sees us make that choice. Maybe instead of trying to do the Sunnydale thing and keep him out of the loop, maybe he needs to see it. Maybe he needs to know how to take care of himself--how to care about other people and see us caring about something larger than ourselves. I mean, that’s what we do, or what we used to do, anyway, so maybe that isn’t such a bad thing, right?”
Spike looked away, voice hoarse with tears. “I never wanted to give him less than he deserved. He doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him. Or you.”
Xander pulled Spike into his arms and held tight. “You do, though. You do. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough. That we weren’t enough. We are. We are enough. It’s a good life and we make a difference which is more than most people can say. But we really won’t deserve that--that amazingly brave kid in there if we run now.”
Spike laughed, his throat feeling thick. “Unbelievable. I come in here ready to fold and you double down on the heroics. Unbelievable.”
Xander hummed in agreement. “We’ve got to take Stazzi down. Dad said he’s got guys on recon around town and figures there’s something like five thousand vamps and demons moving in now.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Yeah. How’s AJ?”
Spike looked over at the tchotchkes on Xander’s old dresser, contemplating the things left behind when he moved into the basement and on with his life. It was something to think about beside how quiet it was with AJ unconscious. “He’s still out. Everyone’s had a look over, though, and the popular opinion is he’s fine, just a little dirty and a little dry. Witches gave him a scrub down. They figure he’ll be waking up any time now.”
Xander took it in stoically. “Can’t believe the house is gone.”
Spike snorted. “Yeah.”
Xander took his hand. “Tara said she could probably save most of our stuff. And we needed a bigger basement anyway. Windows are probably a loss though. Are you married to the art deco craftsman look? I can draft something close but materials and labor are going to cost.”
“Love, build whatever you damn well please. My home is where you are.”
“And I’m a brilliant architect.”
“And you’re a brilliant architect. Prince of builders.”
“I can’t believe those fuckers destroyed my goddamn house!”
Spike frowned. Obviously Xander wasn’t quite as accepting of this turn of events as he’d initially seemed, but there would be time for that later. “C’mon,” said Spike, a hand behind Xander’s back drawing him up onto his feet. “Time to call the war council.”
Spike’s lieutenants remained seated at the table. Joyce put mugs of blood out for them as Spike and Xander entered the kitchen, offering one to Spike which he accepted with a kiss. From the others, he asked for their reports.
“Near as we could see, there are about two hundred vamps at the old school.”
“They’ve got hostages,” Bob added. “About twenty chartered demons they rounded up the other night.”
“That complicates things a bit,” Spike noted. “Tony, any of your guys have experience in search and rescue ops?”
Tony nodded. “Got a few former Seals who did extractions in the Gulf war.”
Xander looked over at Ethan and Willow. “They’re going to need some mojo. What do you got?”
Ethan and Willow conferred silently. “Shielding and cloaking spells. Anything bigger would go wonky so close to the Hellmouth. And we don’t know what they might be conjuring that could interfere.”
“Buffster?” Xander saw her twirling her stake thoughtfully.
“I’ll go in first. Is the roof an option?” she asked.
“Not right now. Whatever is causing the rain is shooting up in a giant column of energy. Unless you can stop that, you’re going to need to find an alternative,” said Angel.
Footsteps behind them announced the Watchers’ presence. “I think we might have a suggestion.”
“The ball of Moni Mekhala and the Thunder Axe are an ancient Cambodian legend, part of the universal flood mythos,” Wesley explained.
Spike looked out at the deluge through the patio doors. “And something tells me it’s slightly less mythological now.”
“Apparently,” said Giles. “It also rather explains what Stazzi was doing in Phnom Phen.”
“So what’s our move?” Buffy asked.
Tony Harris stepped up to the table. “Near as my men can tell, there’s an encampment of demons about two clicks northwest on the outskirts of Breakers Woods.”
“I imagine Stazzi intends to rout the city and open the Hellmouth,” summarized Wesley.
“And flood everything living off the planet,” Spike added.
“That too,” confirmed Giles.
Spike ran a hand over his face. “How many men’ve you got Tony?”
“One hundred and fifty-three combat ready, more if need be.”
“Anyone ever mobilized a VFW before?” Buffy asked.
“Well we used to have a base here but someone saw to that pretty thoroughly.”
“Touché.”
“The clans are just waiting for the order,” Bob volunteered. “Bill’s last count had the number of fighting men and women at eight thousand.”
Tony goggled. “That many?”
Bob shrugged. “Most of em couldn’t pass for human, but I reckon nobody’s going to be too bothered so long as we get this shut down.”
Tony shook his head. “Bob, don’t take this the wrong way, but why the hell are you still here if you’ve always known about Sunnydale?”
“The soil’s just acidic enough for my hydrangeas and roses. Anyway, Margie and I were born here, went to school here, raised our children here. And whether we die here because of some demon or old age, or I finally fall off my ladder like Margie’s been fretting over for the last twenty years, makes no difference to me. I’m not looking for trouble, but if it finds me, I reckon I’ve got no regrets.”
“Fair enough.”
Xander clapped Bob on the shoulder. “Right. Get word to the clans we’ll meet on the edge of the
woods near the clearing. Tell them to bring everything they got, weapons, magic, whatever and to expect a fight.”
“Mr. Harris, have your guys meet Angel, Ethan and me outside the school,” directed Buffy. “Can you get the axe and the ball thing?” she asked Spike.
Spike nodded. “Yeah, Watchers, lieutenants, with me. Slayer, you wait for my signal before going in.”
“Big light in the sky goes out?”
“That’d be it.”
The kitchen door slammed and Tara and Anne appeared. “It’s not much,” said Tara, holding out a suitcase, “But we got as much of AJ’s stuff as we could for now. We’ll get the rest when, well...His bear is in there. I cleaned it up.”
“He’ll want that,” said Anne, lip trembling.
Xander took her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You want to come see him?”
Anne nodded quickly. “Oh, yes, please.”
“Come on,” he said, guiding her into the hallway. “Dad, flack jackets, crossbows, as many as you can find,” he added as he passed Tony.
Tony smirked fondly. “Yes, sir.”
AJ was just beginning to stir. “Daddy?”
“Hey, buddy!” Xander sat down behind AJ and pulled him into his lap, burying his face in his hair, inhaling the warm scent of his son, and kissing his head. “How’s my big guy.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s my brave boy.” Willow brought over a glass of water for AJ who drank it in large gulps.
“Slow down there, kiddo. You don’t want to get sick.” When he’d finished Xander shifted him on his lap so he could see him face to face. “You remember what happened when the bad guys took you, baby?”
“Yeah.”
“You want to talk about it?”
AJ turned and tucked his head under Xander’s chin. “It was scary. They put a bag over my head and I couldn’t see and it smelled bad.”
“That sounds scary.”
“Yeah. They put me in the back of their car. it was hot and bumpy and they grabbed my arms really hard,” he said, gesturing to the finger shaped bruises.
Xander nodded and lifted each arm for kisses before asking, “Then what happened?”
AJ yawned. “I wet because I was in there for a long time and they didn’t let me go pee.”
“That’s okay sweetheart. When did they take the bag off your head?”
“In the cave. It was dark and there were a lot of demons there. They tied me to a rock.”
“I remember.”
“I was there a long time.”
“I know. And I’m sorry it took so long for us to find you. But we did find you. You’re safe now and those demons won’t try to hurt you again.”
“I’m hungry.”
“I’ll bet you are. What would you like?”
“Pancakes.”
“How about cereal.”
“Pancakes.”
“Broccoli.”
“Pancakes.”
Xander tickled AJ who squirmed and laughed. “Pancakes it is.”
Manon, who’d been quietly tending to AJ offered to get food, but Xander stopped her getting up. “I’ve got this. Anyway, I needed to ask, just so we’re clear, if anything happens to us--”
Manon stopped him. “You needn’t ask, cher.”
Xander let out a breath. “Good. Good, that’s good. Thank you. Will you stay with him tonight?”
“Of course. Henri as well. This is your battle to fight, but you need not worry for your family.”
“Our family,” Xander corrected, softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you both.”
Manon cupped his cheek. “Oh, Xander. Thank you. Please know we consider you family as well.”
Xander ran a hand through his hair and nodded. “Yeah. I think I do.”
As far as pre-apocalyptic meals went, they’d had worse. Xander and Tara took turns at the griddle but it wasn’t long before the pancakes were put away the dishes stacked in the sink and it was time to move out.
AJ was quiet and still tucked between his fathers, soaking up the contact. “Scared, pet?” asked Spike. AJ nodded. Spike tightened his arm around the boy’s shoulder and pressed a kiss into his hair. “S’good. Scared keeps us safe. I’m scared. Your da’s scared. But he’s brave and he’s good. And so we’re going to go out there, and we’re going to do our best to keep you and everyone else safe as houses. Whatever happens, you won’t be alone. Your Auntie Manon and Uncle Henri will be here.”
The sound of a clearing throat. Giles knelt down in front of AJ. “I was your age when my father gave me this.” From his pocket he withdrew a small book. “I know you can’t read just yet, but if it’s alright with them, you and I can begin this book together. It’s a demon primer for young Watchers. I vividly remember worrying after my father and my grandmother when I was your age. But the more I learned about what they fought, and how they fought it, the less frightening it became. Does that sound like something in which you might be interested?”
AJ nodded enthusiastically and Giles ruffled his hair. “Hold on to this for me. And when we all return, you and I shall start reading straight away.”
“Okay,” AJ eagerly replied.
“That’s my boy,” said Xander, taking another hug and kiss from him before handing him to his father for more of the same.
Spike held AJ tightly. “Be back before you miss us, lovey. Take care of Grandma Anne and Grandma Jess for me.”
AJ nodded into Spike’s neck and then it was time to go.
The diesel truck idling outside held a number of the clan heads, armored and blooded and waiting for orders beside a handful of veteran officers. Xander climbed aboard the truck and leaned over the gate, gathering up two handfuls of Spike’s coat and kissing him passionately. “I’ll see you later,” he said.
Spike nodded, swallowing thickly. “Count on it, love.”
Xander smiled and the truck pulled away, headed for the clearing at Breakers Woods.
A hand clamped down on his shoulder.
“He’ll be fine,” said Angel.
Spike snorted. “Course he will. It’s you I’m worried about.”
Angel cuffed him and Spike laughed as they took up the road to the Hellmouth.
“You know what I miss? When I got to stake the vamps and didn’t have to listen to them bicker like twelve year olds,” observed Buffy.
“Course, we were trying to kill you back then,” Spike pointed out.
“Yeah,” Buffy smiled. “Good times,” she said, her laughter raising their spirits and carrying them into battle. And though he no longer fought for it exclusively, Spike thought there were worse things than Buffy’s laughter to be fighting for.
“Yeah, love, they were at that.”